_my love for you;

stOp

Monday, July 10, 2006

you just repeated your mistake again
today.
i'm really pissed
and i'm sure you know
this is not the first time
since when did i ever remember your first time?
i hate this
i hate it
please
stop forcing me to hate you
there's this hatred in me right now
i know it's wrong
but you're the one causing it
you dun understand me
you'll never understand
you dun care
you'll never care
you dun stop
will you never stop too?
you're pushing your limit
too far
till i really can't stand it anymore
i'm screaming inside
screaming to ask you to stop
screaming for help
but i bet you can't hear it
cos if you did
you should have stopped
long ago
i feel like punching the wall
i've tried
it doesn't really hurt
i know the reason
that's because i can't feel a single thing
at all
i'm numb
because of you
numb till i feel like i'm half dead
bring me to life
i can't even feel the pain now
why must you become like this?
where is the 'you' i knew before
since when did you change so drastically?
why can't i recognise you at all?
you seem liek a complete stranger
read this. i know you're reading.
and i dun care
i dun give a damn now
it's true
i can't do anything now
i'm just standing there, alone
telling myself to be strong
and never to shed a tear for you again
but i failed
i can't do it
i feel that amount of air trapped in me
i want to heave it out
i can't
cos everytime i heave it out
you capture another one in me
i can't breathe
and there i am
choking
but you left me there
watching me
as i cried helplessly for help
you smirked
laughed
why have you changed so much?
tell me the reason
i want to know
right now
i can't stand this anymore
i can't hold on any longer
i feel like i'm hanging on the edge of the cliff
i feel like letting go any moment
to release myself
from you
from the torment
i feel like blasting music right now
right into my ears
so that i can forget everything
everything that just happened
hoping to wake up to realise that it's just another nightmare
but i cant wake up
i cried
secretly
without you knowing
without wanting you to know
i hate this
crying alone is the saddest thing on earth
shedding tears for someone you know isnt worth your tears
but i cant hold back
i just have to release
i confronted you
again
but what did you do?
as usual
i'm getting sick
of this
of you
of this torment
when will it ever stop?
will it continue forever?
you never seem to learn your lesson
you never seem to be afraid
i'm tired
can you just stop this?
please.
i'm getting frustrated
so stop before i start cursing.
right before you
which i've never done before
and would you like to be my customer no1?
you're most welcome, you know?
so stop
now.
or i'll begin.

'let the rain come down and wash away my tears. Let it fill me soul and drown my fears'

6:37 AM :)